Shad’s Blog

Shad 8 Black likes to research witchcraft and paganism, inspired by Harry Potter and the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. Shad was formerly a Conservative Christian from 2006 to 2015 but no longer practices it due to a religious trauma syndrome in Saint Louis, Missouri.

I don’t feel comfortable with the idea of using pronouns as a cisgender male because I was born with a penis and balls. Yet, I see myself as a gender-fluid and, sometimes, demi-gender. I initially came out as gay in late 2010 during my senior year at Wheeler High School. I refuse to accept being referred to as a “man,” “guy,” “boy,” or “dude” or “jackass” by random people in my life. Everybody thinks I’m a cisgender male, but that’s not how I see myself as a “body person.” I never consider myself as “masculine,” even if I acted like it. I enjoy experimenting with feminine garments, skirts, tight shorts, cleavages, and fashion styles. Most of the time, you’ll see me in men’s clothing as a result of transphobic society and social pressure.

I’m attracted to men as physical objects of lust, of course, but I didn’t deny exploring the ideas of dating trans women or trans men or something in between. There was only one man with whom I’ve always been in love for 10 years now. I never had my chance. As of right now, I identified as a “demi-romantic” but am emotionally attracted to dangerously intelligent women with strong opinions and ambitions. Intelligence is always sexy, of course! At the same time, I don’t want to be seen as a “pejorative fetishist” because my feelings and emotions are opposed to sexual attraction in a physical sense. If I like you, I’ll let you know.

Polygamy and monogamy are scorching topics in the United States today. I’ve not decided about this yet, maybe I’ll, or perhaps I won’t explore these ideas. Polygamy sounds exciting and fun. Although, it can be embarrassing, awkward, and uncomfortable when it comes to emotional attachments or personal boundaries that need to be discussed privately. Maybe it’s better to stay single or monogamous for some time now.

Read my posts here.

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